my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
was feeling really shitty last night, stressed out about pw and promos, all that usual shite students go through.
got shiteloads of work to do tonight, still gotta go out for dinner. i feel like buying myself something to relieve the stress but that's so darn spoilt so i shan't (at least until i go out). but then i think i should jes save the money and splurge in bangkok. i really have nothing to look forward to except bangkok and hweehwee's birthday. anyway my darling hwee is performing this coming sat either outside wheelock or ngee ann city ALL GO SUPPORT HER IF YOU HAVE TIME PLEASE. phoonie you have no choice but to go okay. hrms okay perhaps i might get a bag on saturday then. a nice bag to lug almost anything.
haven't been ending my days well. i go to sleep with a heavy heart, getting all stressed out, i don't sleep well and i don't eat well too. i don't know, i feel really wasted/jaded/all that crap nowadays. i hate all my subjects now, i can't even think of anything that i'd want to study. im developing an aversion to history, i loathe lit now and i'm falling behind for economics. i really hate jc. i really do. i think i've reiterated that enough, but i jes feel the need to remind myself time and again. ah screw jc lar.
written with ♥ at
3:27 AM;